Top 10 Worst Pole Bruises EVER!

By poleriot / October 9, 2019 June 26, 2021

As polers, we are so proud when we nail a move, but one thing we are even prouder of is our bruises, aka pole badges of honour! They’re a proof of hard work (or clumsiness, okay, I admit it!), and we love to show them off, but sometimes they can be pretty bad looking… and we are even more proud of them! Are you ready to browse through the horror museum of 10 really bad pole bruises? Brace yourself, here they come!

1. The Spin Bruise (Aurore's Bruise)

You can tell how hard Aurore held onto the pole, seeing this! Spinning can seem a bit freaky when you first try it, and holding the pole as if your life depends on it is never a good idea for your poor skin! Relax! (But don’t fall!) Sometimes this kind of bruise is even deeper than it seems since the fibres of the muscle underneath the skin can be damaged as well, and it takes a lot longer to heal.

2. The Invert Practice Bruise (Kristy's Bruise)

Look at the way the skin has obviously been pinched, that must be so painful! Pinches are common when you invert because you need to hold your weight while the skin, already sticking to the pole, tries to follow the move, and… ouch! Not only do you get a bruise, but micro cuts are common as well.

3. The Full Layback Bruise (MC Stone's Bruise)

MC was wearing patterned tights when this happened. Moral of the story: be careful with fishnets and similar tights, they can damage the skin pretty badly while poling! No doubt MC’s got those ‘tire-tracks’ imprinted in her skin for quite some time while healing, and probably walked funny for a few days (this is a tough spot to get a bruise…).

4. The Cross Ankle Release Hip Bruises (Fanny's Bruise)

How can you even wear pants after that? I’m not even sure leggings are an option, you just need to stay naked until it actually heals, and overuse arnica gel. It hurts when you sleep on it, it hurts when you try to bend… what a nightmare! Forget about sex, too!

5. The Cross Knee Release Leg Bruise (Morticia's Bruise)

Morticia says she had it for weeks, and we can only believe her, it’s pretty awful! It almost looks like the pole is tattooed on her skin! Now that’s what you call a pole kiss, right?! We love to make the pole our bitch, but sometimes, it’s the other way around!

6. The Fireman and Climbing Bruises (Morticia Caroline's bruise)

We all feel for Morticia by now, she seems to have a subscription to the most terrible bruises! Starting pole can be intimidating, but this is the proof that Morticia gave it her best try during her first lessons! Some type of skins do get bruised more easily, and take more time to heal, but don’t let it put you off!

7. The Brass Monkey Bruise (Nienna's Bruise)

A very nice vanilla-strawberry bruise! No amount of arnica baths can calm down the pain of such a nasty pole kiss, but Nienna sure tried! Some moves are pretty scary and we tend to hug the pole a bit too tightly, and that’s the result!

8. The Inside Leg Hang Bruise (Jessica's Bruise)

Nice thigh spread, right? The inside leg hang is such a beautiful move… but it can leave really ugly marks on your skin! It’s so tender in that area, and it’s even a miracle that it doesn’t get worse than that when you consider that your skin is actually what’s preventing you from falling from the pole!

9. The First Spins Bruise (Isa's Bruise)

Isa used to throw herself on the pole when she took up pole dancing, but she knows better now than to test which has the hardest surface! The pole always wins! Ah, our first bruises! They make us feel like we finally belong to the pole community, like those scout badges you get when you’ve proved yourself, except that these are not sewn on our clothes but imprinted in our skin!

10. The Workshop Bruise (Melissa's bruise)

Saving the best worst for last, here’s a badge of honour that lasted for months. That colour! It looks like a galaxy! I guess Melissa probably saw stars with this one anyway, I’m hurting just by looking at it! Taking a workshop can be tough on the skin because it lasts longer than a lesson, and you do moves you don’t usually do so your skin is more prone to get bruises in areas you don’t usually use.

These painful bruises are just one more proof that pole dance is addictive: in spite of them, we still love to pole! But we’re probably a little crazy, aren’t we? Ah, don’t worry, fortunately, it gets better with time, the skin hardens and gets used to it, and bruises are less frequent!

Show us your own badges of honour, and how you got them!

Kei is a freelance writer, a self taught pole dancer, sprinkled with a huge dose of geekiness and the political incorrectness of a naughty rock chick. Learn more about Kei and her writing HERE.